put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
