What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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