So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
