I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dicks are not precious.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
