Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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