He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize