This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
