I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
