lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
