how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
