You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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