I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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