Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
