Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
