So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Too much gin, very little bucket
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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