I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
