Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
