I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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