then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize