We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
