you guys were way drunker than both of me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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