i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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