your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize