i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
