i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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