i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize