Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
