so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
