i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
