And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
