I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
