I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
