I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
