Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize