so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
