I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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