After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
