i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
