I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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