we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize