You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
