people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize