But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
