In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
