Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
