She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize