Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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