...so i touched it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
