Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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