uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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