dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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