fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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