Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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