This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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