I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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