I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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