Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
