You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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