Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
