Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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