She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
