From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
