My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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