He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
