Only a mothe r could love this liver
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
