After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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