You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
