Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
