She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
