I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
