guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize