i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
