Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
