We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
