I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
